"when I was your age"

One of the worst parts of getting older is that you find yourself saying things that your parents said when you were going up.

*sigh* "Kids these days..."
"When I was your age..."
"You don't know how good you have it..."

This morning I found myself saying "When I was your age" and it really freaked me out.  I don't like thinking about the fact that I'm technically an adult person and I certainly don't like thinking about the fact that I'm now closer to thirty than I am to twenty.

This morning I handed Alden my phone for a second so that I could help him get ready to go to the bus stop.   I told him "Here hold this, if it says 6:00 before I take it back from you let me know."  (Yes, his bus comes obscenely early).   Within a minute the phone went black so the time on the screen was no longer visible.  He then pushed the "Menu" button to make it light back up.  Since my phone is shitty and doesn't lock like it's supposed to pushing that button actually brought up the menu with several options on the screen.  He immediately started tapping on them with his finger.  Then he announced "Mama, it's broken!" Then it dawned on me...he has no idea that my phone isn't a touch screen because everyone else's phones are.

So of course I said "This is an older phone. You have to push buttons, you don't make it go with the touch screen. When I was your age no one I knew even HAD a cell phone. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 16 and it was way too big to shove in my pocket."  I kind of rolled my eyes at myself after having heard what I said because it sounded so old and strange coming from my mouth.  Then the reality of the situation began to hit me.

He will never have a phone with buttons, he will never carry around a Nokia with the size (and durability) of a brick.  He has an iPad and an iPod and no idea that not all cell phones are touch screen activated.  He only goes to one house regularly that even has a home phone line.  He has no concept of payphones or pagers and he probably never will.

The fact that I remember getting a cordless home phone and a MASSIVE computer and them both being "kind of a big deal" at that point in time seems so strange now.  It makes me wonder what kind of crazy contraptions they'll have out in 20 more years that will make him roll his eyes about how when he was a kid all that he had was an iPad 2 and a flat screen computer.  I can't wait to start calling him asking questions the equivalent to those I've gotten from my elders such as "OMG HELP! I DELETED THE RECYCLE BIN! NOW I CAN'T DELETE ANYTHING!" or of course the "I DELETED THE INTERNET!" that I'm sure we've all heard at least once.  I just hope he's still nice enough to drive me around town in his hovercraft when I'm too old to see properly.

How to Accidentally Tell on Your Future Self

‎"Should you really be watching Family Guy?" - me
"I'm sorry!" - Alden
-two seconds of silence-
"FOUR MINUTES LATER. I forgot, I'm sorry!" - Alden
"SPOILERS ALDEN! SPOILERS!" - Me

the evolution of strong female characters

Earlier today I was on tumblr reblogging things as nerds and fangirls often do.  I was then reminded of something I've wanted to write about but had forgotten about. Strong female leads in TV shows.  As a female and a feminist I am attracted to media with strong female leads.  I'm not saying there aren't problems with how strong female leads are portrayed in books and movies but today I want to talk about television specifically.

As I said I was on tumblr and I reblogged a photoset of a show I'm a pretty big fan of.  The image was of promo shots from each season of the show.  In the first image the female lead has short hair, folded arms, "natural makeup" (meaning that she looks as if she isn't wearing any), and she is showing absolutely no skin except for her face, neck and part of her hand.  In the second season promo her hair is a bit longer, she still has "natural makeup", she is posed sitting casually on her desk, but her top is low cut.  Our season three photo has our star with full on pretty wavy hair and makeup, she has on a button down shirt unbuttoned to show quite a lot of sideboob, she is posing back to back with our male lead with their hands out reaching toward the audience because they are handcuffed together.  Finally, the fourth season promo more closely resembles a makeup advertisement than a TV show one.  She looks like she should be advertising mascara, her makeup is perfect, and her teeth are unnaturally white.  The whole ad is heavily photohopped except for our male lead's eye wrinkles, because guys get hotter as they age and women have to have the skin of infants forever or be shamed.  How dare we live another year and get older?!

The reason I wanted to write this is because this is not the only show that this happened on.  In fact I am watching more than one show right now where this exact same thing has happened.  In the beginning they make the female character as masculine as possible so that she can be taken seriously by the audience.  Then as the show progresses she's allowed to wear a little makeup, then show some skin, then she will be allowed to have feelings besides "hard", "cold" and "wanting to kick everyone's ass".  This is a problem for a multitude of reasons.

First off why do women have to come into the show as masculine to be seen as a strong lead?  Secondly, if they decide to downplay the makeup and hair in the first seasons then why not continue to do so?  Why does every female lead suddenly turn into a glamour model around season three?  It irks me.  Does this bother anyone else?   Can you think of any shows that don't follow this trope?  Buffy is the only one I can think of off the top of my head.


(I intentionally did not specify the show because it doesn't matter what show it is, it matters that we recognize that this is a problematic trope.)